OK, we’ll start with the pros. This movie is absolutely beautiful. The acting is mostly good and every shot is like a work of art. But then there is the story. Act one contained a good story, almost compelling if moody spoiled British aristocrats staring at each other in a maudlin passion is your thing. But then someone had the idea that this story should be an epic and it all went to bloody hell. Suddenly, and I do mean suddenly, this movie is Band of Brothers meets gone with the Wind and nothing makes sense. How this movie got the attention it did this year is a not so much a mystery to me (people like the pretty pictures) but it is somewhat disappointing.

Tell us what you feel.

Every word counts.

Let’s disregard the utterly unbelievable guitar whacking we were supposed to believe was music Let’s set aside the fact that this movie is proof positive that people will only remember the last things they see. Here is the big secret — this is a kids movie! The first hour of this film is a string of poorly acted, insincere and ill conceived plot points. The miracle of this film is that it ends on an emotionally resonant note with universal appeal. I reluctantly tip my hat to their achievement, but will not conceded that this is a good movie. But, all is well that ends well.

As westerns go, this one is an interesting character study and a tribute to holding fast to ones’ values. There is a point where the family man has the prisoner in his home for dinner and his son asks the mother if they are going to say grace before the meal, (since there is a bad man joining them). The mother calmly explains that “grace is for everyone.” Which is pretty much the point of the movie.

Real life is great. Unfortunately movies are made because real life is rarely as compelling as fiction. In real life, Dan is appealingly flawed, but so is the script – sans appeal. There is a nice build in the beginning with Dan and his daughters, but the film gets lost straddling the line between themes of 1) recovering from loss, 2)dealing with family and 3)being a romantic comedy. As we all know, when you mix anything with romantic comedy you get drivel. In this case the chemistry between Stevio and Juliette is like warm milk aftertaste. Dan would probably have been an interesting character if he only had to carry a single story.

Pardon me, have you seen my seeing eye bitch?

If you are like me you will see this movie as an endless feast of scenes filled with visual metaphor, lines of dialog with subtext, clever work play and a 70s style male emotional journey. If so, then this premium movie is for you. (Alright, the end of the movie was a little jumbled) If you are more concrete than I, then a movie synopsis with a familiar ring to it is as follows: this movie is basically about a myopic and obtuse Frodo who goes on a road trip confront the legacy of the evil Sauro-nazi.

How do you end a show who’s depth of wit and awkwardness is unparalleled? You top it with a 90 minute commentary on all that is wrong with American values. The scene where RJ talks about reality TV and holds the viewers accountable is exquisite. The ending was only and best ending there could be. Well done.

Yes, I saw this in the theater. The “Semi” of Semi-Pro refers to its comedic stance. It gets lost trying to be a semi-comedy, a semi-70′s structure film and a semi-sports flick. Tremendous comedy cast in a film which never really hits its stride.